We may describe ourselves or others as being kind. But how many of us are consistently kind in all that we do, say and think? When I think carefully I know the answer to this for myself! The act of kindness is often an action in reaction to something that we see or feel. For example helping someone who falls in front of us or offering support to someone who is ill. It doesn’t have to be someone in our lives; we hear about natural disasters or wars and feel genuine empathy for those affected and may help in different ways. All of this is worthwhile and a positive place to start. But I’m interested to know what it would be like if we were to offer kindness in our actions and thoughts freely and consistently. Rather than holding on to it like a precious gift for someone who really needs it.

If we were proactive and offered compassion towards all people, in fact all living beings, at every opportunity we got, do you think there could be some benefits for society? For yourself? For the planet as a whole? I think there is and this is why:

When your intentions, actions and thoughts are kind:

• Your brain release chemicals into your body that make you feel happy, satisfied and more trusting.
• You learn that being kind to yourself does just the same thing. This isn’t about being selfless – saying no is sometimes the kindest thing for you.
• You strengthen connections within communities and families making it easier to cope together when the disasters do happen.
• You create a precedent for openness and ease to ask for support yourself when you need it.
• An act of unprompted kindness to a stranger could be the switch that turns their day around helping them to look for positive opportunities themselves. 
• By extending this compassion to all living beings not just people, we acknowledge the interdependence we have with the natural world.

So if this makes sense to you too, maybe we could try this together? Set the intention and look out for the opportunities, they won’t always be obvious. Finding compassion for someone you dislike may be a challenge. Try not to get caught up in the feelings or reasons. Find something however small that will help you focus on their humanity rather than their behaviour. I didn’t say this would be easy! To practise compassion is going beyond feelings and towards a considered intention to help, it is unconditional and limitless. 

I try to remember that humans are experts at putting on a brave face. It isn’t always obvious who is in need of your kindness so don’t wait to be shown, just get on with it and let’s see where it takes us. If you would like to use some words to help anchor this for you, here is a short practise you can use:

Settle into a comfortable position, a gentle lift through your spine, breathing comfortably.

When you notice your mind has wandered, return to the words and savour the warm feelings that arise.

Now bring to mind a person or other living being who naturally makes you smile; whomever naturally brings happiness to your heart. You feel warmth and send wishes of happiness towards them. In your mind softly and gently, feeling the meaning of your words say:

May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live with ease.

pause for 1- 2 mins 

Now think of someone you do not particularly like or dislike. Your feelings are ’neutral’. This may be someone you do not know well but see around. Reflect on their humanity and include them in your feelings of friendliness.

May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live with ease.

pause for 1-2 mins

Now think of someone you dislike. Try not to get caught up in the feelings or reasons, simply think of them as compassionately as you can and send your kindness to them as well.

May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live with ease.

pause for 1-2 mins

Now let the full focus of your attention rest directly on yourself. Visualising your whole body in your mind, notice any stress or unease that may be lingering within you and offer yourself loving kindness;

May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease.

pause for 1 -2 mins

Now think of all four beings together; yourself, the one that makes you smile, the neutral and the one you dislike. Then extend your feelings further to everyone around you, in your neighbourhood, your town, country, so on throughout the world.

May we all be safe. May we all be happy. May we all be healthy. May we all live with ease. 

Take a few breaths and rest quietly 

This was a seed planted during my Yoga training and watered by attending a talk with Gelong Thubten a Buddhist monk and meditation teacher. I am certainly not saying I have this mastered but I do hope this will inspire you to explore further too. A good place to start: A Monks Guide to Happiness – Gelong Thubten